Sharing stories, creating connections

I finally finished reading Harry Potter, and I had fun disagreeing with my daughters about it

Hi friends,

At our small group meeting at church yesterday, the group leader asked this question: “Have you had any great conversations lately?”

My mind immediately went to the conversation I had had with my daughter

Samantha Coté

the night before, when I shared my thoughts about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows—and the Harry Potter series as a whole—with her as we cleaned up after her baby boy’s first birthday party. (Okay, as she cleaned up. I have hard time cleaning and having an engaging conversation at the same time.)

I had told her earlier in the day that I had some opinions that she’d probably hate. Though she was likely prepared for that already given my opinion of the earlier books in the series, which I talked about in a previous newsletter.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

Photo by Thalia Ruiz on Unsplash

I softened the blow by telling her that she was right. The last book is indeed the best book in the series. I could see how J.K. Rowling had improved as a writer. I read the book each night before bed, and one night the story was so engaging that I stayed up a full hour longer than usual reading.

But, I explained, the first half of the book was tediously slow. I only got through it because I said I would finish it. And because my other daughter,

Julia McMullen

, gave me a copy of the book for Christmas last year, I had to do it this year. So I did. (You happy now, girls?)

Anyway, as I said, the first half was so slow. Yes, there are some scenes in that half of the book that are engaging and high stakes, but they are like temporary life boats in a sea of tedium. Most of the first half of the book is about the characters trying to decide what they should do. And some convenient eavesdropping. Now, I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy relationship dynamics and internals struggles, but I can only take so much of that before I start wanting the story to move forward.

Samantha, though, she loved all the relationship drama and Harry’s internal growth and all that. She wasn’t bored by how slowly the first half of the book progressed, likely because she was much more invested in the characters than I was.

My daughter Julia told me I need to learn how to skim. But, as an author, I cringe at that thought. Not because it wouldn’t help me get through tedious, rambling passages in books, but because, as an author, I wouldn’t want my readers to feel like they need to skim in order to get through the story I’m telling.

But back to the conversation with Samantha. I also told her that I found the ending to be anticlimactic, to which she responded with incredulity. The problem for me was that the the climax of the story is primarily focused on Harry’s internal struggle (while a battle rages around him that the reader doesn’t get to be fully immersed in), and it is disrupted by 20 pages of conversation which seem to exist primarily to explain everything to the reader in case he or she doesn’t “get it.” Samanthat said it was “very Dumbledore,” but to me it was like watching the climax of a TV show only to be interrupted by a 20-minute infomercial! And then, once you’re back to the program, there’s some sneaking around to get through the chaos (okay, and the business with Neville being set on fire) and one more conversation between Harry and Voldemort and…bam. It’s over. It didn’t have to take so long for Harry to decide to do something. And it didn’t have to end so abruptly.

Samantha disagreed with my assessment, saying that she really appreciated Harry’s internal journey and the way Voldemort just dies like anyone else. He wasn’t so special and powerful after all.

I told her I could see that, I guess. But it still felt like a letdown to me. I wanted this story to end with more fanfare. A duel. Something. Instead it was just…over.

There was one more thought I shared with both of my daughters about the Harry Potter books. There are so many characters, so many layers to the story, that it would have served the story better to be told in a wider 3rd person perspective. At least on that point they thought my opinion was valid.

In the end, though my girls and I disagree about the quality of the Harry Potter books, the conversations and connections that these shared stories have made possible are worth more than all the gold in Gringotts.

And that is the true magic in sharing stories. Reading the same books or hearing the same stories opens the door to so many possibilities for human connection. You don’t have to share the same opinions with someone in order to share in lively, healthy conversations. You just need to be open to hearing them and seeing their perspective. Doing so will help you understand each other a little better, even if you don’t find much common ground.

Of course, I’m not just talking about conversations with your children about books. But it’s definitely a good place to start.

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Some other books that my family and I disagree about:

• The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. This is a classic that I adore because of its cleverness and wordplay. I read it to my son when he was in elementary school, and he loved it. But I tried reading it to my hubby, and he hated it. I guess his brain just doesn’t work like mine!

• Dragonwatch (series) by Brandon Mull. I think this series is fun, but my daughter Samantha hates the dialogue.

• Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett, illustrated by Ron Barrett. This book was a favorite of my son’s when he was little, and he still will say it’s “fire” if you ask him. I just never really liked it (and the movie? blech!).

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  A purple bear from the sketchbook