What it's like to be an artist
A story in four poems
Hi friends,
Sometimes I feel like a contradiction. As an artist, I have a need to create, whether it’s through poetry or prose or some form of visual art. But I don’t always feel like creating. Or sometimes I’m afraid to. Other times I can barely stop myself, but then I’m overcome with doubt about the value of what I’m creating. And then there are the times when I’m desperate to write but no words will flow, or to sketch but only manage mindless scribbles.
One of my strategies for dealing with creative block or self-doubt is to write about those feelings in the moments that I’m feeling them. Today I thought I’d share some of those resulting writings with you.
If you’re an artist or writer, perhaps you can relate. If not, enjoy these peeks into my weird creative brain.
I’ll start with some fun and silliness. When I wrote each of these poems, I was feeling stuck and uninspired, so I gave myself a mental shake and forced myself to start writing something, pouring the frustration of not being able to write onto the page.
A Discussion with My Muse
Help me to write something silly and fun.
Don’t tell me there’s laundry and chores to be done.
But plop down right here and let’s chat for a few.
I’m sure you will spark something funny and new
if I can just wait till you’re ready to tell
how to put down on paper a gripping word spell.
Perhaps a short poem, a song or a tale
of an ogre, a king, or a mouse who sets sail.
I know all these thoughts rattle ‘round in your head…
No, don’t try to tell me that it’s time for bed.
I’ve made up my mind, I can sit here all night.
And you of all people should know that I’m right
when I say…Oh, that’s better. Now can you see
how easy it was to share this poem with me?
That poem is silly and fun, and the process was effective in helping me loosen up and get something written. This next one is much shorter, and it’s honestly one of my favorite silly poems.
Brain Drain
I want to write a silly poem
but nothing’s in my brain.
Someone entered through my ear
and—plunk—unplugged the drain!
I wrote the next poem in a moment of doubt. It was during a time not to long ago when I was wanting to grow as a poet and I felt a bit overwhelmed and intimidated by so many great poets that had gone before me and others who are writing today. I remember getting an idea and reaching for a pencil to jot it down, but before my pencil reached the paper I was already doubting myself. So I wrote this poem instead of whatever it was that was in my head.
This is the part of art that I don’t like: the struggle of transferring the image in your brain onto the screen or the page or the sticky note you reached for in a sudden flash of… what was it? It felt like brilliance a moment ago. But just the act of opening the notebook or picking up a pencil or reaching for that pad of sticky notes was enough to make you pause wonder doubt if it’s worth putting down at all. Why not keep it safe inside the protective walls of your mind where no one can see, no one can agree with the doubts shouting silently, Let it be. But you know better than to listen to them. You pick up a pencil and begin.
Writing this poem was like a little pep talk to myself. It worked well for me. If you’re ever caught in a moment like that, try writing a little pep talk to yourself. It might be just the thing you need!
I’ll end with a little poem that summarizes how writing poetry can be even when I’m not struggling.
Sometimes poetry is quick, popping onto the page like the pop-pop-pop of kernels in a pot on the stove top. Other times it’s sloooow, like that that last bit of golden honey, s l i d i n g d o w n the inside of the jar.
Some poetry books I love
The Death of the Hat: A Brief History of Poetry in 50 Objects by Paul B. Janeczko, illustrated by Chris Raschka
Delights and Shadows by Ted Kooser
Devotions by Mary Oliver
Treasury of Children’s Poetry, edited by Alison Sage - I read from this book a lot when my kids were young, and the poems within its pages inspired and encouraged me a lot over the years.
Newsletter news
On Wednesday I’ll be sharing my first ever Workshop Wednesday post, a monthly feature for paid subscribers in which I will share knowledge and tips from my years of writing children’s books, using examples from my own early drafts and polished (and published) work. Theses posts are meant to be mini workshops that will be helpful for other writers of children’s literature. They may also be interesting for readers who are curious about my process or the publishing process in general.
The first Workshop Wednesday post will be free. If you like what you see on Wednesday and want to see more, I hope you’ll consider becoming a paid subscriber.
This is great, Rebecca! I’ve been struggling to sit down and write creatively, mostly because of all the other things that seem to be yammering about their importance. I should write about *that*!
I'm now desperate to buy the death of a hat! The illustrations have hooked me.